Last night was... strange. I felt pain in a peculiar way. pictures and small flashbacks fluttered and cluttered my brain. I wanted so badly to fall asleep and not feel anything. But I wasn't going to get away from myself this time. it's almost if my body, my mind, or the universe wanted me to feel this, wanted me to remember the pain. the warm touch of her hand on my face. the look of amazement she had in her eyes when she saw me. the soft but tender kiss she slowly crept onto mine. why were these images coming back to mind? I couldn't keep still in bed. I kept moving and flipping over the pillow and onto my face, tossing and turning as if I was trying to physically ignore the voices and the images that kept flooding my mind. the feeling I got when I read the words "you have a beautiful soul". the immense of butterflies I got when I received a message from this person. the overflowing joy I filled with when I would read those beautiful inspiring words they would send. tossing and turning, seemed to be endless. I remember forcing myself to stop. to stop feeling this internal and emotional pain whilst punching the bed simultaneously. I finally opened my eyes and everything was gone for a while. I stared blankly at the ceiling watching the shadows dance. listening to nothing but the constant blowing of the fan.
Currently listening to: Lo-Fang — When we're here.
September 23, 2014. 8:38 am.
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